Just leave it alone!

     Why are we always multiplying numbers by one to solve an equation?  For example, I'm currently working with exponents and integers.  That extra step gives us the same damn thing.  Just leave it alone, it isn't hurting anybody.  Simplicity, Math Gods, simplicity.

My shaman place

     I go to a different place when I do math.  I can feel it.  I'm quite sure it's associated with a specific place in my brain - within the left hemisphere to be exact.  I'm starting to recognize it and - hold the presses! - feel more comfortable there.

     It's so interesting to compare the energy of that math place to the energy of my shaman place - a very intuitive, right brain arena where I have felt comfortable for a long, long time.  This shamanic place has always been a natural one for me - the constant default.  But I have also done quite a bit of study there.  I'm not just kicking back in the eithers with an umbrella drink.  I have literally been constantly working, studying and practicing these skills for the past 25 years.  Remember, the definition of a shaman is someone who can navigate those realms at will.  That takes training.  I am comfortable there because I am educated there.

     I always thought math was off limits to me, but as I sit here now observing this newly recognized energy within me, I think, perhaps, I can learn to be comfortable in this realm too.  It's a matter of practice.

Hidden Addition within Multiplication

Multiplication

When we multiply, we add a number to itself a certain number of times.  
We write multiplication with a times sign, x.

• ×42
   means to add 
  4
   copies of 
  2
  .

  
  

  =×42=+2+2+228

     Holy Moly!  How is it that I didn't know this?  Well, yea, it makes sense now.  I just never thought of it like that.  These enlighten moments are making me paranoid.  Just how many, many simple truths have I been dancing around my entire life?  It's a wonder I can function at all.

Note to self: Next time you interview the president of Boise State University, wear deodorant.

     Honestly Susan, do I really need to spell this out for you?  Apparently so.  I'll chalk up the oversight to lack of sleep...  Nerves perhaps, due to the big interview today.  But still.  Susan!

     I just interviewed Dr. Robert Kustra, president of Boise State University for a project in my Leadership 325 class.  The assignment is to interview a leader that is doing something similar to what we want to do after graduation.  Now, I can state with a clear conscious that I have never once wanted to run a University.  The thought has simply never occurred to me.  But I want to lead on a large scale, and I'd say he fits the bill.  But with that said, I don't think I would have thought of President Kustra except for one thing, Readers Corner.  

     I stumbled upon Readers Corner three or four months ago.  It is a radio program where Dr. Kustra interviews authors of very interesting books.  My list of, "important books I want to read" are littered with his interviewee's books.  And I do read them.  Or better said, I do listen to them.  I am an excruciatingly slow reader.  Due to that, and all the trauma sounding my reading history, I just couldn't bare to even try it any more.  So, for many years I didn't read anything at all.  Well, then somewhere along the way, I discovered "Book on Tape" at the library.  And I mean tape, as in cassette tape.  (For you youngins who are saying, "what's a cassette tape?" - you can Google it)  Then, over time I followed the technology from cassette to CD and finally online - Recorded Book.  It has rocked my world!  Now I "read" all the time.  Sure, I have had to scale back when I started school.  But I have gotten crafty, and listen to my books whenever I can:  while brushing my teeth, doing the dishes, walking across campus.  Pleasure and Sanity Keeping are a couple of the benefits I reap from this endeavor. 

     As a voyer to Dr. Kustra's program, I have been quite impressed with his people skills.  In a short half hour he is able to connect with the person he is interviewing on a kind and interested level.  That's the kind of leader I want to be.  That's the kind of leader I'm learning is most effective, one who puts the relationship first.  This is the person I want to interview.  

     I didn't really think he'd say yes.  He is an important and busy man after all.  But if there is one thing I have learned in life, it's to ask.  What's the worst that could happen?  He could say no.  I can live with that.  He could laugh at me.  I doubt he'd do that, but we are brainstorming worst case scenarios here.  Well, I can live with that too.  Laugh away, I don't care.  I'm still going to ask.  He didn't laugh.  He said yes.  

     I told a few trusted souls, "I've got 30 minutes with him, what should I ask?"  I got a really good list of ideas.

1.  Interview the way he interviews.  Sharing experiences.  Be interested.  (that, from my insightful sister)

2.  How has your leadership evolved?  What brought on the changes?  (yep, also my sister)

3.  What new leadership techniques are you using now?

4.  What is the worst thing about you as a leader?  (I really like this one - and it's from my professor!)

5.  Ask more general questions.  What has been effective?  What were the pitfalls?  

6.  Ask him why tuition is so high that students carry school loan debt for much of their lives.  

     I ended up starting the interview asking him, if he were me, what would he ask?  What would he most want to know back in the beginning that he didn't know then, but he knows now?  The very first sentence out of his mouth was about The Relationship!  I'm still buzzing from the experience.  What an amazing conversation we had.  I can't wait to transcribe it (yes of course I recorded it - I didn't want to miss a word!).  There are such nuggets there that I never want to forget.  I'm not going to tell you about it now - oh the suspense!  I'll be writing a kick ass paper that I will probably share here later.  In the mean time I just want to say, thank you President Kustra, for taking time out of your busy day to meet with a lowly, fairly clueless student that really wants to learn.  And I'm sorry that I didn't wear deodorant.  


See blog post of the finished paper, Does BSU Have a Level 5 Leader?  (October 2015)

No longer the interloper

I was eating lunch in the SUB today and looking out the window at this beautiful campus when all of a sudden this feeling came soaking into me.  In words, the saturation went something like this, "you belong here".  It is just occurring to me now that I am no longer the interloper, the pretender, the fake. 

With Tongue

     I can't help it, but I make this grimace - minus the cool facial tattoos - when I get a correct answer in math.  Maybe it's because I feel like I've done battle, and won!  All my math is done on a computer program called ALEKS so after I input my answer to a question, I hit enter and wait.  Then it will either say, "Very good!  Practice again.  If you answer correctly without help one more time, I will add this problem to your pie" (the graphic that shows what I have completed and still need to complete).  Corny, but it's what I long to see.  Or, if I get it wrong I get the dreaded, "Your answer is incorrect.  Try to answer again" - in red font no less.

     While waiting for ALEKS to compute, which can take even longer if the internet is running slow, I've noticed I sort of wrinkle my nose, and tense up, and sometimes I even forget to breath.  I don't mean to do this, it just sort of happens.  Then if the "Very good!" screen pops up, without thought or warning, my expression immediately goes to the Maori-like face, complete with tongue out and guttural sounds.  I can't seem to stop myself from doing it.  For this reason, and because I cry from time to time (see my recent post called "Wet Math"), I always try to do my math homework at home.  I think it best for everyone.

     Oh and BTW, can you tell I'm trying to get out of doing math homework?  I don't actually want to do math, I just want to write about it.

Am I just too practical for math?

My actual, current math problem:

Today, 5 friends went out for lunch.  Their total bill was $24.55, including tax and gratuity.  They decided to split the bill equally and each paid with a $10 bill.  How much money will each person get back?


It's so distracting.  Honestly, who can do this kind of math?  I'm hung up on trying to figure out where in the world five people can eat on $24.55.  That bit of lunacy needs to be cleared up right now before I can go any further.  

The scariest class of all

Yes, even scarier than math!  

     One of the most amazing things about my major is that I get to create my own curriculum.  Honestly, I feel like a kid in a candy store.  How long has it been since I've wanted to learn something - anything!  I haven't done so before because...(read my entire blog to know the answer to that story).  I figure I'll be here at Boise State for the next 15 years just taking all the classes I want to take.  What freedom to not be stuck in one major of predetermined classes.  I wonder if my sugar daddy, Uncle Sam, will mind funding 15 more years of undergraduate work.

     Given that I already, clearly know the answer to that last question, I must choose wisely and well.  Oh the pressure!  And given the fact that I am insanely considering a double minor of leadership and business Spanish (quick - this girl needs a reality check assessment - NOW), I may not have the room to choose much beyond those requirements.  Except for one class that I will stubbornly insist on, and will be taking next January.  "E 204", aka "Creative Nonfiction Writing".

     I have never, ever, ever thought of myself as a writer.  But truth be told, I find myself throughout the day constructing sentences.  Would it sound better this way, or that way?  That's a good word there, but is there another word that would work better?  And on and on.  Oh what joy.  But doesn't everyone do that?  It's only been recently that I have realized, and admitted to myself, that I actually do this thing, nearly every day.  And it's also only been recently, that I have admitted to myself that, no, probably not everyone else does this.  And what if, no one but me EVER does this?  Why am I always the freak?  Might there be anyone else out there like me?

     This class for me represents a shadowy, mysterious, possible representation of me that I neither understand, nor comprehend how it fits into my world, or any other world for that matter.  My fingers are tingling as I type this.

   

Glorious Tea Weather

I love fall.  Mostly because I get to break out the scarves and tea.  I'm not a big hot tea fan in the summer.  Pleasant little discovery this morning, tea is also useful in sweetening the math homework just a bit.  

Forever Tainted GPA

So, if you go back 30 years, my grade point average (GPA) is 4.0 - and very proud of it!  BUT, if you go back 35 years (which includes the last time I went to college), my GPA - and alas, my official GPA - is 2.769.  That is fucked up.

Ill Management of Time

This is what I just posted on the Discussion Board for my Multidisciplinary 

Studies 300 class due today by 11:59 PM.  Just in case you are wondering, 

it's 10:51 PM.  And wouldn't you know it, I'm writing about time management.

Your College Experience, Strategies for Success

Chapter 2 - Susan Fullmer

COLLAPSE

In my Foundations of Leadership 325 class we are talking about what we value and how that dictates what we do in life both personally and professionally.  So, I found it interesting when I read in chapter two, "How you manage time reflects what you value - what is most important to you and what consequences you are willing to accept when you make certain choices."  I had not thought of values in regards to time management, but it makes perfect sense.  I don't think anyone would argue the point that success in school depends, in large part, on time management.  You simply can't accomplish all that is required without it.  My thought is to let this insight on values work to my advantage.  For example, when I'm not managing my time well, I want to look up stream and see what I was valuing more than school.  And why.  My ill management of time started long before the paper was past due. Hopefully that insight will help me clear up my priorities to ensure my success.  

I didn't see anything in the chapter that I don't agree with.  Most of it is helpful advise.  Here are some tidbits that would be especially helpful to me.

1.  Don't ignore long-term goals in order to meet short-term goals.

2.  Keep in mind, what goals and objectives are most important to you and most consistent with your values.

3.  Many of the decisions you make today are reversible.  You can change your major, your career, and even your life goals.  If you need to make a change then do it.  Ask yourself whether what you are doing at any moment contributes to, or detracts from, your purpose for being in college.  

4.  Research shows that you will be able to study most effectively and retain the most information if you concentrate on one task at a time. 

5.  Time management is a life long skill.

I felt the chapter's weak point was the "Tech Tip" section.  There are so many really good tech tips out there for better study and organization.  Their list was pitiful.  Reading this chapter reminded me that in my last job I used Outlook, and I loved using the "Task List" for keeping track of what I needed to do.  I believe I heard a rumor that we can get a free download of Outlook as a student.  I'm going to be visiting The Zone soon with my fingers crossed.  I've been struggling, trying to keep all my electronic and paper to-do lists coherent.  I think this may be my solution.

Lastly, I want to mention the study skills class I talked about in our class tonight.  I can't tell you how helpful it was and continues to be.  I'd go so far as to say that I would be lost without it.  I use the skills I gleaned in that class every single day.  I highly recommend it and my teacher Dr. L K who will be retiring after Spring 2016.  The class is ED - LTCY 105  Reading and Study Strategies, just in case you're interested.

www.Boise.Greenbike.com

     I almost crashed into a pole today.  Honestly, how long has it been since I rode a bike?  Not a motorcycle which I rode two days ago.  I'm talking about a bicycle which I last rode....well it's been years.  I recently discovered Boise Greenbike.  You pay an annual fee - $46 for students - and you get to ride their bikes free for one hour a day.  Or you can ride more for a minimal hourly rate.  There are bike hubs all over town.  This is so perfect for me!  I've been wanting to start exercising again, besides the occasional yoga that I do.  Something on the cardio side, but with my job as a floor nurse, (which means I'm on my feet all night), my chronic feet pain has been worse.  Walking across campus is about all I can handle right now.  

     I used to ride a bicycle, but at this point in my life I don't want to buy one or maintain it.  Plus I don't want to ride or haul it to campus and back.  I've been wanting to take advantage of Boise's famed Great Belt that runs through the city and right past campus.  So now with Greenbike I have it all.  They have a few hubs on campus so I just go pick up a bike and go.  I can even reserve one on my phone.  

     Well, today was my first day on a Greenbike.  My plan was about to actually happen.  But as I'm swinging my leg over the bike I realized I had neglected to consider one important point.  Do I even remember how to ride a bike?  Is the old adage, "it comes back like riding a bike" true?  Well, yes...and no.  As I start to peddle I can feel my brain-body connection scramble to bring back long ago memories and abilities.  I was wobbling all over the place and nearly ran into a pole!  I swerved away just in time and vaguely wondered if anyone saw.  Ah, who cares.  I'm way past worrying about looking stupid.  Been there, doing that.  The more I peddled, the less wobbly I got and off to the river I went.  Glorious!

     Each bike has a touch screen to lock and unlock the bike and to keep track of your time, milage, etc.  You input your code number and pass word, and away you go.  It also has a solar panel to keep it all going - the touch screen, not the bike.  Forward propulsion is all up to me.   

     I'm so out of shape that I was only able to go 20 minutes before I had to stop.  No worries.  

Stopping to enjoy this beautiful place is also part of my master plan.  I am so grateful!

No more harping on the surprise

     We are talking about authenticity in my Foundations of Leadership 325 class this week.  Honestly, I am still surprised that this good, deeply meaningful, important-to-life stuff is being addressed.  But I'm going to stop harping on this surprise and move on.  I thought it was a fluke at first, but that just seems to be how this class roles.  It is finally dawning on me that my prior idea of leadership was more about management (and bad management).

     It never ceases to amaze me, when I follow my intuition things always seem to turn out right.  For example, minoring in leadership.  Cognitively that didn't make much sense, because I have no interest in being a bad manager.  I'm not saying that I thought BSU is teaching students to manage poorly.  I'm saying that I thought the approach and desired outcome would be more "robotic", "how to get the troups to conform", and don't forget about the all important, "how to make a profit!"  Honestly, can anyone who knows me, see me in a job like that?  So what the hell am I doing taking not just one, but a slew of classes about management?....I mean leadership.  Ah, but my intuition always knows best and thank God I am old enough and wise enough now to listen.  (Ask me how I learned that hard lesson.)

     "Discovering Your Authentic Leadership", by Bill George, Peter Sims, Andrew N. McLean, and Diana Mayer, is one of the articles we read this week.  I practically underlined and marked the whole thing.  There are so many stars in the margin that it looks like the upper left of the flag.  Rather than try to wrap it all up in a bow, let me just list a few of the starred items.  Enjoy.


1.  During the past 50 years, leadership scholars have conducted more than 1,000 studies in an attempt to determine the definitive styles, characteristics, or personality traits of great leaders.  There are none.

2.  No one can be authentic by trying to imitate someone else.

3.  Over recent years, people have developed a deep distrust of leaders.  It is increasingly evident that we need a new kind of business leader.

4.  Good leaders are constantly testing themselves through real-world experiences and reframing their life stories to understand who they are at their core.

5.  Discovering your authentic leadership requires a commitment to developing yourself.

No orientation for you!

     Because I literally enrolled the week before spring semester last January, I missed new student orientation.  Instead, I've had to hunt and peck, scratch and bleed, for every scrap of information I have needed to be a successful student.  (OK, a bit dramatic, but it's my blog - I can go there)  But honestly, I feel there is so much in orientation that would have been and still could be very helpful to me.  I figure my knowledge is Swiss cheesy.  Meaning, there are holes.

     They don't have orientation for summer semester so my goal was to catch it fall of 2015.  Well, no such luck.  They gave me a big fat NO when I tried to get information on signing up for it.  They sited something about there being a cost that was included in freshman fees.  I call foul!  Don't I pay the same thousands of dollars that everyone else pays?  Why should I be penalized just because I'm not a freshman?  Don't I, as a new BSU student, need the same information that freshman do?  I'm back to scratching and bleeding.

So Many Bodies

     Arrggg, where did they all come from?  Just like swarming ants.  I can't even get across an intersection - on foot - trying to get across foot traffic.  It must be fall semester.  I do love the kinetic energy I can feel in the air.  So exciting and new.  It's fun and endearing watching the dew eyed newbies with that look on their face, a cross somewhere between, "Where am I going?", and "Shit, what have I done?".  And for once and finally, it doesn't describe me.  But when I can't get to where I want to go on campus in a timely fashion, I start missing the quiet and serenity of summer semester.

Flummoxed

For my Leadership 325 class we get 2 extra points for reposting our blog assignment (where the class can see) to an outside source (where the world can see).  Existing blogs count - so here it is, for all the world to see and savor!

What Leaders Really Do

Good question, what do leaders really do?  From my vantage point of having many, many leaders/supervisor/bosses over the years, it seems to me that they do a whole lot of organizing, staffing, planning, budgeting and dealing with all the inevitable problems that come along.  According to the article, "What Leaders Really Do" by John P. Kotter, that definition would fit a manager.  But not a leader.  I had no idea there was a difference. As it turns out, there is quite a difference.  One is not more important than the other and a person could have both skill sets but not necessarily, and not usually.

I have to say that this article has given me great hope.  I am drawn to the leadership role in some vague, natural way.  Ironically, I don't even know how to define leadership, or better said, I don't know how the world would define it.  But I am interested enough in leadership that I am pursuing it as a minor to my university degree.  So imagine my delighted shock as I read Mr. Kotter's definition of a leader and found that in many ways he was describing me.  Not the  - organized, get the job done with the least amount of ruffled feathers part of me (which is true).  But the - let's come together for a common good while we lift each other up, part of me (which is also true).  Who knew I'd stubble on this kind of touchy-feely-humanistic ideal while sitting in an intellectual, get the degree so I can go out and make a lot of money kind of place like an university.  I'm flummoxed.

While Mr. Kotter is making the point, that "controlling and problem solving" is management, vs "motivating people" which is leadership, he has the audacity to say such things as, "Good leaders ...articulate the organization's vision in a manner that stresses the values of the audience they are addressing" (employees).  He goes on to say that, "This makes the work important to those individuals...it gives them a sense of control."  Is he for real?  I mean who does that?  In all the movies I've seen on corporate America it all looks pretty cut throat to me.  And get this gem, "Achieving grand visions always requires a burst of energy.  Motivation and inspiration energize people, not by pushing them in the right direction as control mechanisms do but by satisfying basic human needs for achievement, a sense of belonging, recognition, self-esteem, a feeling of control over one's life, and the ability to live up to one's ideals.  Such feelings touch us deeply and elicit a powerful response".  Wow.  I had no idea this line of reasoning existed in the realm of leadership.  

I can see myself in this picture.  As I was marking the paper while reading it I kept writing the word, "Me" in the margin.  He used words and ideas that I would use to describe myself such as, "gather a broad range of data, looking for patterns, emphasis on relationships, seeing linkages that help explain things, create vision and strategies, willing to take risks, grow beyond the narrow base, and a history of lateral career moves and difficult job experiences."  And don't forget my personal favorite, that leadership skills can be perceived as "mystical".  Well, if that's not a sign I'm in the right place, I don't know what is.