Susan Rambles: The Car Wash Confirmation - Sure Sign of Healing
Time to wash the car. Don’t be silly, I’m not going to do it myself. From time to time, I see people who seem to be lovingly washing their car in their driveway; meticulous attention with tender care. Secretly, I envy that a bit. I wish I cared about cars. I don’t. I cherish and talk to my vehicle as it excels in the things I do care about - a car that runs well and provides me with a trustworthy expectation that the motor will engage when I turn the key. (Yes, my sweet old car comes from the era of actual keys). I adore my trusty steed in that regard. But to wash it myself? Let’s get real.
So, off to the car wash I go.
I’m sitting in my car and the gear is in neutral. I am being pulled, sucked into the darken tunnel ahead as the gigantic brushes close in with an all encompassing intensity. Abruptly I have a flashback. It’s 15 years ago when my long buried childhood, ritualistic sexual abuse memories were surfacing with a vengeance. One of the many outcomes I experienced during that time was panic attacks. If you have never had them, be glad. The best way I know how to describe them is that you literally feel like you are dying, an explosion outward from deep inside. It is a terror like no other. I would keep my coat and slip on shoes by the door so when I would wake in the middle of the night with a panic attack, I could grab them as I flew out the door. And then I would walk and walk and walk until I was exhausted and the panic would finally subside. Was it a good idea to be walking alone in the middle of the night? Absolutely not. Did I have any other choice? No. When they hit, there is no reason nor thought. Just the crushing need to run to survive.
Fast forward past many years of good healing from good healers of all kinds, I no longer have those attacks. I am still on my healing path - I have come to believe this is a lifelong process. But I am mostly at peace with myself and the world. And as those vicious brushes closed in and obscured the light, I realized there was no way I would have been able to do this in the past. I felt a slight shudder while contemplating what I would have done back then in this same situation of being closed in with no escape. I suspect I would have exploded right there in the front seat. Instead, I was restful and fully present.
And that my friends, is a miracle. A confirmation to me that personal healing work has actual, tangible outcomes.
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Susan Fullmer is a writer, podcaster, conscious channel, shamanic practitioner, psychic medium, energy healer, energy reader, teacher, mentor, group facilitator, nurse, and licensed massage therapist. Susan specializes in extraterrestrial connections, and she is a telepathic talker. She has been in private practice since 1990 with her business, Intuitive Explorations with Susan Fullmer.
She draws from decades of study and practice in the healing arts including 35 years of nursing (both medical and mental health) and massage therapy (with extensive study in energy medicine). Susan has a plethora of experience in group facilitation, public speaking, mentorship, teaching classes, and hosting workshops and retreats. In 2019 she graduated from Boise State University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Multidisciplinary Studies with certificates in Leadership and Human Relations, and Dispute Resolution.
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