What does healed look like to you? No answers here, just a very important question.

I am taking a new class this summer called, Diversity in the City.  It focuses on the depiction of American and global urbanism through one of the most popular forms of media - film and television which portray a variety of urban conditions including diversity, inclusion, equity, and social justice. It's pretty ironic that I am taking this class because I rarely go to the movies and I haven't watched TV in years.  But so far I really love it. I wrote this post after watching the movies, Citizen Jane (about Jane Jacobs), Pleasantville, and Radiant City.      I grew up in the suburbs.  And yet, these movies explained so much of the suburb life that I did not know, or at least had never really thought of before.  There were certain things that rang true that I had always noticed, but never consciously acknowledged about that life.  For example, in the movie, Radian City, the children talked about how they didn't know their neighbo...

This is from a recent weekend class. Wow, one of my all time favorites. I think everyone on the planet should take a class like this. Then where would we be? DISPUT 594 - Self-Awareness in Conflict Susan Fullmer 5 May, 2019 My Contribution to World Peace        When I first learned the Three-Part Assertion Skill, I was a mental health nurse working for the Portland VA in their Mental Health Intensive Case Management Program (MHICM).  At the time, I was a nurse case manager with a full caseload of Veterans with chronic, persistent, and severe mental illness. I had never had great boundaries when it came to standing up for myself and asking (let alone insisting) that others respect me.  I chalk this up to sexual abuse in my childhood from my father, grandfather, and others. I had come a long way in healing and starting to develop better boundaries with good therapy and time. But then, in this job, I found that I was v...

Given my recent visit to the Akashic Records where I learned about a past life in Russia, I now understand why I was so enthralled by the Winternight Trilogy by Katherine Arden.

For years I’ve known about the Akashic Records.  But I’ve not been drawn to them until now. I was just listening to the book, “I’m Over all That: And Other Confessions” by Shirley MacLaine where she reminded me that they are there.  And now they are calling to me. I’ve spend time over the last few days exploring them. Such different energy! Truth is universal no matter the source, but it has been my experience that those different sources can feel quite different from each other: Guides, Helpers, ancestors that have done their work, animals, plants, earth, planetary bodies, etc.  And let’s not forget, Mother/Father God. And now the Akashic Records. The interesting thing about the Records is that they don’t feel like a personality. It feels like a library with a voice. I hear the answers when I ask the questions. But it doesn’t feel like a sentient being. I feel there are sentient beings around, perhaps to maintain and/or protect. So where do I go ...

This is a song sung to a redundant yet catchy tune.   When I meet you, I will sing it for you. If you’re dancin’ with your Honey And your nose gets runny And she thinks it’s funny It’s-not

Susan Fullmer Sp19 - MDS 420 - Globalization     14 April 2019 The High Cost of Humanitarian Logistics Most people, especially those who live in affluent areas, tend to take energy for granted.  They often don’t realize that energy is a valuable commodity. It can be scarce and some predict that it will become even more scarce in the future.  Predictions assume that global energy demands will stay in constant flux while consumption of energy will exponentially increase at least as steadily as the population growth, if not more.  This growth will also increase as countries of emerging economies continue to modernize and industrialize. Two current examples of this would be China and India. These types of countries will logically have growing demands for energy independence and attempt to ensure their own energy assets. In the Energy Issue Brief in Globalization 101, Matthew Ocheltree states that, “Energy...will play an i...

Susan Fullmer MDS 420 - Globalization Final Essay 5/5/2019 The Great Divergence: The Need for Further Study Globalization has shaped the world.  As Westerners we have certain advantages over others around the globe such as better jobs, better education, our civic rights, and opportunities we have because of our higher income, just to name a few.  This seemingly unfair distribution of power and opportunities can be understood better when looking at the Great Divergence. The origins of this imbalance happened primarily during the 19th century when the West had great advancement in a number of areas and therefore advantage over others in things such as economy, trade, technology, and global power.  Because of these advancements they dominated the world in modernization and the ability to reach out and colonize much of the globe. Therefore my thesis is, the cause and effect of the Great Divergence is varied and complicated and warrants further study to unders...

My final reflection paper on my Globalization 420 class this semester.  Talk about an eye opener of a class!  Wowser folks, we live in a different world today and it effects us all.  The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.    Susan Fullmer MDS 420 - Globalization Final Reflection 4/26/2019 Final Reflection: Understanding Your Place in a Globalized World In the beginning of this semester we were told to write a paper about an experience we have had in which cultural differences played a crucial role.  I wrote about living in Venezuela in my early twenties.  It was my first real experience with cultural differences.  I loved the people and gradually I learned to love the culture.  But in the beginning, it was such a shock to see how different everything was from the food, to the customs, to the language.  In a way, what I felt was a microcosm of the fear and incompatibilities some people feel towards others who are...

My mother loved sunflowers.  I will forever think of her when I see them.  A truly sweet memory from an otherwise complicated relationship.  This is the tapestry that hung in her entry hall and now gifted to a granddaughter. I love you mom.

While taking care of my mom in her last days of life, these are the questions I would ask myself from time to time.  Is there anything left unsaid? Is there anything left undone? I continue to get the same intuitive answer. Everything is done. The one message I got from Spirit this morning is, “Enjoy your family.”  That's it. That's all I'm supposed to do today. At last, I feel ready for this. No more taking care of everything.  No more fixing anything. I will be helpful and kind. I will catch up on the lives of family members that I have not seen in a long time.  The family is gathering. But there's nothing I have to do. I have done my work. And now, I will feel the joy of being with my family in this sacred place during this sacred time.  Whatever their agendas maybe, this is mine and I am at peace.

Mom passed on January 15, 2019 from complications of ALS.  I traveled out of state to be with her and my family this past year and more frequently in the months before her death.  As a nurse I was able to care for her and teach my stepfather to care for her so she could remain at home as was their wish.  I was also able to help coordinate hospice and other services they needed. It was a team effort that helped me feel closer to my parents and to my family. My mom and I had, shall we say, a complicated relationship.  I am pleased and at peace that I was able to get enough healing under my belt during the past decade or so, to be able to approach her and the difficult situation that is the dying process without agendas, anger or fear.  I simply was present. The last days were difficult and neither my father (I never call him step) nor I got much sleep as we worked around the clock to keep her comfortable.  There wasn’t much time for writing or anything ...

Shinny new IT wizardry for me.  I’m typing on a portable keyboard connected to my phone.  Why would I be doing such a thing you may ask? Well, let me tell you.  I’m soon to check off a whopper of an item on my Bucket List. I’m going to Europe this summer for the first time!  Nearly five years ago when I started back to school at age 54 to get my first Bachelor’s degree (which I will get this December!), I did it for a very short list of reasons - three to be exact.  And one of them was travel. I mostly had what I needed in life, but the one thing I never seemed to have enough of was money for travel. Big and small. Near and far. I want to see and experience it all!   Now, in addition, I also have the knowledge that I love to write.  (Didn’t know that’s what school would bring to me as well, but there you go)  So, I can’t stop myself. I will be writing my way across Europe. I know, it’s been done already. Many times. I even have a paper...