I dreamt that I was ready. There was no hesitation, not even down to my inner core. At peace and excited, all the stuff you want to feel when you begin to create. A pure flow without old emotional wounds and fears rearing their ugly heads shouting the constant, "You can'ts!" and, "You are not enoughs" cacophony that so often accompanies the desire to be who we really are. Or even just to stick a toe into the waters of pure soul purpose.    Yes, there was distraction in the dream. People all around me were chaotic and seemed so immersed in things that had nothing to do with me and my creation. But not even that deterred me. I was blissfully focused on the birth of this creation at hand. And it was coming from my hands. I could feel the energy building ready to come forth. But I wasn't facing just right and it hampered the actual doing of it. I started to shift my body so I could get into a better angle, but it still wasn't adequate. And then the dream end...

"Fire Alarm, Low Battery" beeped into my subconscious. I was in such a deep sleep that I don't know how long it took for me to finally realize something was going on that needed my attention. I stumbled down the hall and grabbed the step ladder and the batteries. Nothing smooth in this operation. Fiddling with the apparatus while perched on the ladder, I finally realized that this wasn't going to happen without my reading glasses. Ok, that done, I was able to extract the old battery and insert the new one. Which turned out not to be a new battery and needed to be changed too. But that didn't register until after I had put away the step ladder and the batteries and was headed back to bed at which point the beeping warning started up again. I did all of the steps above - again!  I finally, groggily  rolled back into bed delighted to finally go back to sleep. As I was drifting off, my eyes flew open. Was I missing something? I have learned that life is symbolic. Ever...

I had a compassionate nurse's heart. As a patient, that's what one would hope for. A kind and loving person who sees and takes care of every need without having to be asked. When one doesn't feel well, it can be difficult to ferret out what one needs. That's when a good nurse can step in and be their intuitive, competent self, to just know what needs doing and do it. I was that nurse. Until I wasn't. Somewhere along the way my good nurse's heart got killed. Oh, I still went through the motions; I doubt any of my patients knew I was dying a slow death inside. But as less of my true giver-self lived, the harder it became to pretend. Though, I did such a good job of pretense I was the last to notice.  Looking back over my 35 years of nursing, it is a mingle of joy and regret. How could I have done it better? I think regarding my patients, I feel at peace - I did my best. But as a healer, how did I get it so wrong? How can a caregiver find balance and take care of t...

This morning's shamanic journey took me to a place I had never been to before. And no, they didn't tell me where I was going before hand. I mentioned that in yesterday's post. I do believe that that method has been a lesson in trust over the years but as I was thinking upon it this morning, I realized there is another piece to that teaching. I believe that my Spirit Guides are teaching me to shut up and just observe. I'm the human of a thousand questions. I'm curious by nature. Strengthsfinder pings me as a Learner, no surprise there. But I had gotten into the bad habit of shooting off an ever lengthening list of rapid fire questions when talking to the Wise Ones. Instead, on these journeys, they are showing me how to be quiet, and experience. Oh, what wonders come to me when I do that! The nuances of everything going on around me are beyond any verbal answers that could be given to a litany of questions. It takes time and I can be impatient. But I find when I rush ...

I've been there. More than once. With shamanic journey practice one can go anywhere on the earth and throughout the galaxies. And as it turns out, to the center of the earth as well. Several weeks ago my Guides and Spirit Helpers told me it was time to go on a journey, if I wanted to go. They are always so kind and courteous and respectful to me. They never demand or impose their own agendas, all hallmarks of an exceptionally high vibrational being. It's the only kind of being that I will interact with any more.  The irony is that I never say no when they suggest a journey. Yet, I am forever grateful to have the sovereign  choice.  It was one of those journeys in which they do not tell me where we are going ahead of time. This kind of journey has been a lesson in trust over the years and decades. And these beloved helpers have earned my trust. Yet every time I go on one of these "blind" journeys, it's always a bit like leaping off a cliff (where I can't even s...

My moldavite did a runner. It was there and a few hours later when I looked for it, it was gone. Moldavite does that sometimes. It's a powerful crystal that shifts energy and heals. If any of you have used moldavite, you know what I mean. It's not for the faint of heart. Ha, or maybe it is as it's a good heart chakra healer too. This crystal is not of this world. Some think it's a meteorite, but it's not. It was created after a meteorite impacted Nordlinger Ries in Germany about 15 million years ago. The silica sand and rock that flew into the atmosphere from the explosion melted and cooled falling back to the ground mostly in the Czech Republic. The result is a dark green, glass-like crystal that will blow your socks off. It was not created in or on the earth.  When I realized mine had disappeared, I was sad. I love my crystal and rock friends. But they come and go as they please - usually I gift them to other people or take them back to Mother Earth as they tell m...

I woke up remembering a dream I had last night and I thought I would share. Dream - Inside Out Pants I was in charge of getting tickets to a play for a group activity. These were people that I didn't know very well, but I belonged to their social club. In the dream, I was only semi organized (which isn't like me at all! I'm highly organized, especially when planning an event of any kind - I've run too many classes, workshops and retreats to be a slouch in this area). Instead of being early, I showed up at the last minute. I hadn't given myself time to dress so I was mismatched and my pants were inside out. I didn't really talk to anyone while I was there. I was in "make it happen" mode and got everyone where they needed to go. But I wasn't enjoying myself and it didn't even occur to me that I could be having a good time. At the last minute, an unpleasant family obligation came up for me and I bailed on going to the play myself. Again, I was goi...

The thing that lights me up these days is the desire to help create what some call, the New Earth. I believe that everyone currently on planet earth has chosen to incarnate at this momentous time in earth's history. As of December 2020, we are now in the Aquarian Age. Look to focus of collaboration and community based living. We all thrive when the collective thrives. We humans are waking up in droves which enables us to feel our inner knowing of why we are here. The call will grow stronger and stronger. Inner and outer peace comes as we align with that knowing. I call to my peeps as our energy frequency rises higher and higher and enables the ascension of humankind and Mother Earth. What is your inner knowing telling you? 

 Well well, it seems it's time for a change. I haven't felt like writing for a loooong time. I don't write unless I feel inspired to do so - or it doesn't end well. So much has happened and so much blessed healing. Shout out and gratitude for all beings physical and non for your grace, power, and influence on my life. "Thank you" doesn't even come close. You know my heart. It speaks beyond words. I sit down to write and I'm told it's time for a new look. I began this blog when I started back to school after 33 years of doing life stuff. Writing has always be a way of processing my experiences and making sense of the senseless. My first journal was in 1972 when I was eleven years old. Getting a bachelor's degree at Boise State University in December 2019 gave me a new skill and confidence in writing. It's nice to be able to better express myself. The more I write, the better I get and the more I enjoy it. I'm thrilled that it is calling ...

This is the beginning of a whole new, heart centered era. As the old ways break down and the new world emerges, who do I want to be? What would that mean to the world? What would it mean to me? I feel ready, but I don't have the details. When I ask, Spirit tells me the details will come later. I trust that the plan that emerges for my life will be realistic and long term. I'm in it for the long haul.