Fretting over the dark side
I've fretted over the dark side for as long as I can remember. Or, what I and others sometimes call the "shadow side" of ourselves. I've progressed from "sin" to "just a normal part of us" a long time ago. But I've been stuck there ever since.
Energetically, I can feel that there is a dark side to us which feels somehow natural to me. I can't explain it really, but I just know that it is. I also know that we must learn about it and - horror of horrors - we must embrace it. Oh, but how? Sure, it's easy to say, "To be healthy and balanced we must know our dark side". Again, I can feel the truth of it...but how to tape into that mystery is...well, a fuckin mystery.
So, tonight I did it. I took the bull by the horns and said, "enough already!" Either I do this thing or I am eternally stuck in the non-embracement of the yin side of my swirl. Talk about eternal damnation. Or the lack thereof? Oh, the confusion that reigns!
Weak in the knees from fright, I asked my guides to show me my shadow side and teach me how to embrace it. With much stalling on my part, the journey began. Now, to my credit, I have good reason for my trepidation. I have worked with many dark energies and entities while healing myself of others. It aint pretty folks. So why would someone voluntarily go there? My point exactly! But I was feeling frustrated because everything I felt and learned said to "EMBRACE". What's a girl to do, I ask you?
All these thoughts and more kept racing through my fear-laced brain as I approached the blackness within me, to which they were showing me to go. Oh, the madness of it all! But I knew it was now or never so I pressed forward and slipped into the inky mist, holding my breath and pinching my eyes shut - as if any of this would help me. To my great surprise, it was nothing like the dark energies I had worked with before. Nothing. In fact, it was as benign an energy as I had ever felt. So, totally, nothing. How was that possible? I asked them to explain.
They then asked me to go to the light side of myself. So, off I went thinking heavenly chorus and hallelujahs. Again, nothing. The white was as neutral as the black. WTF? Again, I asked them to explain.
They then showed me in ways that I cannot adequately verbalize, that it was my emotion to the black/white that changed it to something other than neutral. Hence, I had complete control over whether it was frightening, joyful, terrorizing... (inset a reaction here). Yes, totally in my control. The shadow indeed was not bad or good. It simply was. So, my experience now matches what I had learned before, but sadly, I still don't know what that all means. Except to say that in the future, when I am afraid, I will know that it's all about my choice, not some kind of inherent characteristic of the energy.
In conclusion, I'm going to leave you hanging. Simply because I am still hanging. More to come, I hope. More to mull over, I am sure.
Energetically, I can feel that there is a dark side to us which feels somehow natural to me. I can't explain it really, but I just know that it is. I also know that we must learn about it and - horror of horrors - we must embrace it. Oh, but how? Sure, it's easy to say, "To be healthy and balanced we must know our dark side". Again, I can feel the truth of it...but how to tape into that mystery is...well, a fuckin mystery.
So, tonight I did it. I took the bull by the horns and said, "enough already!" Either I do this thing or I am eternally stuck in the non-embracement of the yin side of my swirl. Talk about eternal damnation. Or the lack thereof? Oh, the confusion that reigns!
Weak in the knees from fright, I asked my guides to show me my shadow side and teach me how to embrace it. With much stalling on my part, the journey began. Now, to my credit, I have good reason for my trepidation. I have worked with many dark energies and entities while healing myself of others. It aint pretty folks. So why would someone voluntarily go there? My point exactly! But I was feeling frustrated because everything I felt and learned said to "EMBRACE". What's a girl to do, I ask you?
All these thoughts and more kept racing through my fear-laced brain as I approached the blackness within me, to which they were showing me to go. Oh, the madness of it all! But I knew it was now or never so I pressed forward and slipped into the inky mist, holding my breath and pinching my eyes shut - as if any of this would help me. To my great surprise, it was nothing like the dark energies I had worked with before. Nothing. In fact, it was as benign an energy as I had ever felt. So, totally, nothing. How was that possible? I asked them to explain.
They then asked me to go to the light side of myself. So, off I went thinking heavenly chorus and hallelujahs. Again, nothing. The white was as neutral as the black. WTF? Again, I asked them to explain.
They then showed me in ways that I cannot adequately verbalize, that it was my emotion to the black/white that changed it to something other than neutral. Hence, I had complete control over whether it was frightening, joyful, terrorizing... (inset a reaction here). Yes, totally in my control. The shadow indeed was not bad or good. It simply was. So, my experience now matches what I had learned before, but sadly, I still don't know what that all means. Except to say that in the future, when I am afraid, I will know that it's all about my choice, not some kind of inherent characteristic of the energy.
In conclusion, I'm going to leave you hanging. Simply because I am still hanging. More to come, I hope. More to mull over, I am sure.
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