I graduate tomorrow on December 21, 2019.  Returning to college after 33 years.  Going to school for five years while working full time.  And now this.  I knew it was coming.  All plans for the past half decade were designed for this moment.  But now - it just doesn't seem real.  I have been inexplicably weepy.  My intuitive friend Maria clued me in yesterday that I am ending an era of my life and so of course I am emotional! Normally fall graduations at Boise State land during the first or second week of December.  For some mysterious reason that no one on campus seems to know, this year it is happening on the 3rd Saturday.  But I know why.  It is extremely meaningful to me that I am graduating on Solstice. Going into the longest night tomorrow issues in a seasonal era of it's own.  I am bone weary and unsure of what to do next in my life.  To consciously enter into the energy of winter at this pivotal time is ess...

I am crying which is unexpected to be sure.  I just posted my last assignment for school.  After five years, I am done.  Now what am I supposed to do?  Actually, I just thought of something.  Maybe now I will have enough energy to write...for fun.  I can't wait!

What is it about cold brew and why do I love it so much?  Coffee is coffee right?  If there is one thing I learned in Europe, not all coffees are the same.  Well, no shit Sherlock.  The coffee in Europe truly was the best I have ever tasted.  Bar none.  Where do they get those beans?  Or is it the way they make it?  And did the atmosphere and company infuse the flavor?  After Europe, I thought I was ruined with my coffee drinking in the States.  Why bother?  But I'm sipping a cold brew right now that is pretty damn tasty.  Maybe I won't have to wait for my next overseas trip to drink my next cup o' joe. Sipping in Paris

Hearing languages of all kinds all around me.  The predominant language changing as we move from country to country.  It is like song to my ears. 

This church was build in 1822 and replaced an ancient building with Saxon arches and Norman work.  The current walls follow the medieval church layout and the original vaults remain under the present floor.  King Henry 1 refers to it so they know the original structure dates back before 1184.     This church houses a painting of The Last Supper which is considered a national treasure.  It was presented to the Royal Chapel in 1660 The choir sings in this beautiful chapel.

As I mentioned in a previous post, one of my bucket list items for this trip was to have English tea in England.  Boy Howdy did we do that in style!  It was accomplished in a pub that is older than my country and with a view looking out at Windsor Castle.  Yes, THAT Windsor Castle, the worlds oldest and largest inhabited castle.  The one you see on shows like The Crown and a bazillion others.  We are specifically at the western end of Windsor looking across the street to the Curfew Tower which was built between 1227 and 1230.  The walls are said to be 13 feet thick at the base and are 100 feet high.  After lunch I made a bee line for the tower wall.  I did for the first time what I did many times during this trip - put my hands on the wall of some ancient edifice and listened.   I have done this many times with rocks, mountains and nature in general, always finding an old and wise voice.  But I had never done it to an ancient ...

British pounds for London.  Swiss Franks for Switzerland.  Europes for everything else.  I'm sitting in a London pub (across from Windsor Castle no less) ready to make my first purchase of the trip and I pull out all of my seed money.  About $60 of each.  They are all pretty and new, with some cool colors and shiny bits.  But I have no idea what's what.  Maybe I shouldn't have mixed them all together.  Ooops...  My sister Sandy, the world traveler, comes to my aid and all is well.  I can do this!  (Sandy, don't ever leave me!!)

I've been home from my Europe tour a week and I've been in a funk.  I'm tired.  The fast and furious pace from beginning to end took it's toll on me, but that's not it.  I miss Europe.  I miss my new friends.  I miss the students.  I miss being with my brother and sister.  I miss Europe.  My mind keeps flitting back and forth between my two worlds - Europe trip and my "normal" life.  I can't seem to land on just one.  I can't seem to determine which one I want to live in.  I'm depressed. 

I crossed the 10,000 page view mark!  It still blows my mind that anyone reads this little blog of mine.  But according to Google, Pageviews all time history 10,036

Between major connectivity problems and intense lack of time, I scraped the "blog as I go" plan and took major notes and photos to compose at a later date.  I got back to Boise last night from Europe and plan to use the month of August to process and post an extraordinary experience - one I shall never forget.  (To be accomplished all before fall semester starts!)

After a break yesterday for the Fourth of July, we are back at it for the third and last day of band/choir camp.  How do these kids do it?  They are in rehearsals ALL day and they give it their best to the very end.  Some of these kids have just graduated from junior high barely a month ago.  I am so tremendously impressed with them and I look forward to getting to know them more individually.  I understand this happens quite a bit more on the busses once we get to Europe.  Our travel is all by bus once we get there. While the highly capable music staff run the students through their paces, we logistic staff are busy doing an endless list of tasks.  I am good at strategic planning, organizing, and logistics.  I have put together many an event from large to small, but I have never been involved with anything of this  magnitude.  I stand in awe.  There are a huge amount of moving pieces to this endeavor of taking so many people on a...

Holy cow, I’ll never get through this without crying.  The band is playing one of my favorite songs, Nessun dorma.”  The soloist will be one of the music teachers on the tour.  He has the voice of an angel and I tear up every time they practice.  I don’t think I’ve packed enough Kleenex. Here is one of my favorite singers preforming one of my favorite songs.  Listen and enjoy.  I’ve already warned you about the Kleenex so be prepared. Luciano Pavarotti sings “Nessun dorma” from Turandot (The Three Tenors in Concert 1994)

Oh Happy Day!  The band will be preforming John Philip Sousa's "Stars and Stripes Forever."  They had me at Sousa!  Oh, but wait, it gets better.  Much better.  The choir and staff are going to jump in and sing the last verse.  Can life possibly get any better?  I have to go now, I'm memorizing words.  Hurrah for the flag of the free! May it wave as our standard forever, The gem of the land and the sea, The banner of the right. Let despots remember the day When our fathers with mighty endeavor Proclaimed as they marched to the fray That by their might and by their right It waves forever.

Band/choir camp.  One day down and two medical emergencies later.  As a nurse I'm happy to help, but I have to be careful as I am not hired as a nurse and indeed, the staff is not allowed to give medical aid or medications due to liability reasons.  The point is to get the students emergency medical care as quickly as possible, if needed.  We are well plugged-in for such contingencies all along our European route.  But sometimes medical aid is need immediately until professional care is available.  After some thought I packed supplies to stop bleeding and a CPR mask.  It feels weird not to have more but it will have to do.  P.S.  Everyone is fine from yesterday's events. 

In doing the very best you can do.  In bringing that together with others in a common purpose.  It brings tears to my eyes to watch it unfold.  Here at band/choir camp, I spend every moment I can between my logistics responsibilities to sneak in and watch rehearsals.  And at present, I am sitting in the main area where I can hear snippets of both the band and choir rehearsals.  A cacophony?  No!  Sweet music to my ears.  I prefer to watch a rehearsal more than the actual performance.  I love to watch a good director pick a music piece apart and lead the performers to achieve their highest ability and beyond - individually and collectively.  Pure magic. 

I’m headed to Europe on Saturday with about 220 of Utah’s finest high school musicians - band and choir.  My beloved and amazing brother is leading this talented horde along with staff (that’s me!).  But first, band/choir camp.  From grade school to college I was one such musician.  So, from the first notes of warm up to when the baton drops for the last time, I am in hog heaven.  Europe and music, it doesn’t get any better than that. Right now they are rehearsing Mambo.  I promise you, I will be dancing during the performance.  Which one?  All of them, all across Europe. This isn't our group but it will give you an idea of the shenanigans to be had.  Fun song! Mambo!

     Have you ever had the experience of waiting to have a question answered?  But you didn't realize you had the question until suddenly, one day...the answer is there.  Then you realized you'd had that question all along.  This has been my experience while reading Secondhand Time:  The Last of the Soviets, by Svetlana Alexievich.  My question is this, "What were the opinions and stories of the people of Russia during the time frame of my own life?"  I have heard so much about them from news and politicians (theirs and ours).  And I studied Western Civilization last summer where I learned about the high points...(and low points) of their history.  But how did the people feel about all of this?        I had long suspected that there was more to the story than I was hearing.  And I have a personal twist to this story that gave me a perspective that perhaps has not been considered by most outside of Ru...

My first European trip is coming up fast!  I've been crazy busy scouring my to-do lists, rules and regulations, and what to pack and not pack documents.  My guest bedroom has been sacrificed to this cause; it's full of piles of sundry items, and lists, and little travel bottles of various liquids including laundry soap.  I plan to wash and hang my dirty-to-clean underwear across six countries.  And yes, my little rope and clothes pins are in the pile too. As I sit here in my burgeoning excitement, the thing I am most excited about this morning is drinking British tea.  "Susan could get that in the states," you may be thinking to yourself.  But drinking it here and drinking it there will be two entirely different experiences, I am quite sure.  And when I am there, I intend to savor every sip.

What does healed look like to you? No answers here, just a very important question.

I am taking a new class this summer called, Diversity in the City.  It focuses on the depiction of American and global urbanism through one of the most popular forms of media - film and television which portray a variety of urban conditions including diversity, inclusion, equity, and social justice. It's pretty ironic that I am taking this class because I rarely go to the movies and I haven't watched TV in years.  But so far I really love it. I wrote this post after watching the movies, Citizen Jane (about Jane Jacobs), Pleasantville, and Radiant City.      I grew up in the suburbs.  And yet, these movies explained so much of the suburb life that I did not know, or at least had never really thought of before.  There were certain things that rang true that I had always noticed, but never consciously acknowledged about that life.  For example, in the movie, Radian City, the children talked about how they didn't know their neighbo...

This is from a recent weekend class. Wow, one of my all time favorites. I think everyone on the planet should take a class like this. Then where would we be? DISPUT 594 - Self-Awareness in Conflict Susan Fullmer 5 May, 2019 My Contribution to World Peace        When I first learned the Three-Part Assertion Skill, I was a mental health nurse working for the Portland VA in their Mental Health Intensive Case Management Program (MHICM).  At the time, I was a nurse case manager with a full caseload of Veterans with chronic, persistent, and severe mental illness. I had never had great boundaries when it came to standing up for myself and asking (let alone insisting) that others respect me.  I chalk this up to sexual abuse in my childhood from my father, grandfather, and others. I had come a long way in healing and starting to develop better boundaries with good therapy and time. But then, in this job, I found that I was v...

Given my recent visit to the Akashic Records where I learned about a past life in Russia, I now understand why I was so enthralled by the Winternight Trilogy by Katherine Arden.

For years I’ve known about the Akashic Records.  But I’ve not been drawn to them until now. I was just listening to the book, “I’m Over all That: And Other Confessions” by Shirley MacLaine where she reminded me that they are there.  And now they are calling to me. I’ve spend time over the last few days exploring them. Such different energy! Truth is universal no matter the source, but it has been my experience that those different sources can feel quite different from each other: Guides, Helpers, ancestors that have done their work, animals, plants, earth, planetary bodies, etc.  And let’s not forget, Mother/Father God. And now the Akashic Records. The interesting thing about the Records is that they don’t feel like a personality. It feels like a library with a voice. I hear the answers when I ask the questions. But it doesn’t feel like a sentient being. I feel there are sentient beings around, perhaps to maintain and/or protect. So where do I go ...

This is a song sung to a redundant yet catchy tune.   When I meet you, I will sing it for you. If you’re dancin’ with your Honey And your nose gets runny And she thinks it’s funny It’s-not

Susan Fullmer Sp19 - MDS 420 - Globalization     14 April 2019 The High Cost of Humanitarian Logistics Most people, especially those who live in affluent areas, tend to take energy for granted.  They often don’t realize that energy is a valuable commodity. It can be scarce and some predict that it will become even more scarce in the future.  Predictions assume that global energy demands will stay in constant flux while consumption of energy will exponentially increase at least as steadily as the population growth, if not more.  This growth will also increase as countries of emerging economies continue to modernize and industrialize. Two current examples of this would be China and India. These types of countries will logically have growing demands for energy independence and attempt to ensure their own energy assets. In the Energy Issue Brief in Globalization 101, Matthew Ocheltree states that, “Energy...will play an i...

Susan Fullmer MDS 420 - Globalization Final Essay 5/5/2019 The Great Divergence: The Need for Further Study Globalization has shaped the world.  As Westerners we have certain advantages over others around the globe such as better jobs, better education, our civic rights, and opportunities we have because of our higher income, just to name a few.  This seemingly unfair distribution of power and opportunities can be understood better when looking at the Great Divergence. The origins of this imbalance happened primarily during the 19th century when the West had great advancement in a number of areas and therefore advantage over others in things such as economy, trade, technology, and global power.  Because of these advancements they dominated the world in modernization and the ability to reach out and colonize much of the globe. Therefore my thesis is, the cause and effect of the Great Divergence is varied and complicated and warrants further study to unders...