I'm very proud of this.  I've got a stiff learning curve in computer anything.  So when we get an assignment for an oral presentation to include media...yikes!  This is the introduction to my oral presentation in MDS 300, and my very first PowToon. https://www.powtoon.com/online-presentation/b9xFjvetvUx/the-mds-project/ 

This is my final paper for my Multiple Disciplinary Studies class.   Susan Fullmer MDS 300 12/11/2015 Reflections: My Life, a Journey of Learning      I have worked as a licensed practical nurse for the past 33 years in many areas of health care.    Along the way I grew rather bored with nursing so when my son was old enough, I went back to school and became a licensed massage therapist.    It was a dream come true to own my own business doing energy work, energy readings, and massage.    After 13 years I closed my private practice due to health issues.    I then returned to nursing, but this time to mental health where I worked as a psychiatric nurse case manager and teacher.    After 10 years in mental health, I was again ready for a change, so I worked as an Equal Opportunity Employment Specialist in a hospital.    I had never done this kind of work before, but I really enjoyed it.  ...

     I find it interesting that I haven't really talked much about my Multiple Disciplinary Studies (MDS) class here in my blog.  This is my  degree  after all.  Looking back over this semester, I think I know why.      This degree is for people who have been away from college for awhile, for any number of reasons.  It could be raising a family, military service, finical difficulties, medical set backs, or like mine - having a learning disability and being too scared to set foot into a school again.  Ever.  But whatever the reason, it's a wonderful program that lets you use all your old credits and develop your own curriculum.  And although developing my own curriculum felt like the best thing I could have hoped for, the reality is that it was a daunting task.  Or rather, it would have been a nearly impossible task if it weren't for the class I took this past semester called MDS 300.      This ...

     In nursing, one spends a great deal of time charting - documenting everything you have done.  As the saying goes, "If it's not charted, it's not done".  I understand the importance of good charting.  Clear communication is imperative in health care.  For example, how and when do you know to give a medication if it hasn't been clearly charted.  The down side of all of this writing, is that it takes time away from our patients.  I doubt there are many nurses that sought out the profession to spend time on a computer.  And if they do love the paper work more, I think they are probably the "research" type nurse, or "insurance" type nurse.  But I am the "people" type nurse, and would much rather be with my patients than a document.  So I find a balance as best I can.      It should never happen, but once in a while we may forget to chart something.  That information must be charted when the omission ...

     I saw, "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" today in 3D at IMAX.  Beyond cool.  I felt like I could reach out and pinch a planet on Luke's map, or caress the mask of Kylo Ren.  Though why anyone would want to do the later is beyond me.  Creepy.       I know why humanity clicks with movies like Star Wars and Harry Potter.  It's because we are magic.  The force is around us and within us.  And we don't have to be a Jedi to utilize it to our advantage.  When I teach others how to use energy to create and to heal, I feel like my main task is to validate.  Yes, you do feel what you feel.  Yes, you do know what you know.  And, yes, you do have the passions and powers that are simply who you are.  Most of us don't grow up in communities that support this, let alone teach it.  We as a human race are hungry to understand these natural gifts and abilities.  We will continue to go se...

     My two favorite patients aren't doing well.  I had to send one of them to the hospital last night and the other may not still be alive when I get back to work tonight.  I never thought there would come a day when I would feel this way, but I'm tired of death.  Maybe this is just one more confirmation that it's time for me to leave nursing.

   I've been contemplating how truly unusual it is that I am blogging.  It's a platform where I speak my truth.  Remember that I am a female born in 1960.  Although the women's movement was happening in the world, it wasn't happening in my world.  I was a child of abuse who grew up in a conservative, strictly patriarchal society where I was constantly told that except to serve others, I was not to be seen and certainly not to be heard.  If I spoke in a public platform, it was to give reference to the holy words of others.  I was taught to pray and receive inspiration, but if "my inspiration" landed outside a strict guideline, I was at best, "wrong" and at worse, "of the devil".  As far as my own true thoughts, feelings, and holy words, I had no real say.  I quickly learned that speaking my truth was unacceptable, and punishable, so I stuffed it down where it was forgotten for a long, long time.      It's astounding that ...

         Glass half empty?  Glass half full?  I got a B in math.  I was really hoping for an A.  Pie in the sky perhaps, given that I have dyslexia and math has been the bane of my existence in this current incarnation.  Oh, but I feel sad.  Partly because I had a perfect 4.0 GPA since starting school here at BSU.  I don't think I have the vocabulary to express what a freakin miracle that is.  Yes, I worked my ass off.  And yes, I have lived a life time of learning how to learn in my own - it only makes sense to Susan, but it works - sort of way.  But still, 4.0.      But in actuality, it's a relief.  With each semester, as the shock of all A's would gradually wear off, the stress would set in.  The pressure to maintain that 4.0 was getting out of control.  I was almost dreading it happening again because I didn't know how much more pressure I could take.  It felt like...

     I now have a whole German assemblage.  Or at least the "Stats" page for my blog, that I was telling you about, says I do (see blog post, "My Twenty Russian Besties" November 2015).  But how do I know if that's real?  Maybe it's just Blog Spot fucking with my brain.  It's some kind of consumeristic plot to sucker us bloggers to keep coming black.  I mean, no one has ever commented on my blog except my dear sister, who unlike Blog Spot, does not fuck with my brain and gives me real and warm support that I can actually take to the bank.  Confirmed reality is a reassuring thing.      So who are you people?  If in fact, you are actual alive and breathing humanity, then prove it.  Dare to comment.  I'm not asking for a long term committed relationship here.  Just a token offering to prove you are real.  That, or I want Blog Spot to make a full and truthful confession right here and now.

     I'd forgotten how much I love the seasons.  I moved here a couple of years ago from my beloved Portland Oregon where we enjoy various shades of rain.  I had been there a couple of decades, so I sort of forgot the whole snow experience of winter.  Not to mention the intolerable heat of summer - ah, but that's an examination for another day...about 6 months from now.        It's Christmas Eve and we just had a tremendously beautiful snow.  I'm more of a Solstice girl these days, but with a deep vain of nostalgia for my Christian upbringing.  And I am nothing, if not inclusive.  So it was a joy to trudge out in the fresh white and feel the moment of anticipation of an event held holy.   And here I am returning to myself, headed home.

     I've noticed that "Reflections" seems to be a popular assignment word with professors.  In most of my classes I have papers that are due called "Reflections" something or other.  I'm good with that.  I'm a reflective type person and enjoy writing about my take on any given subject.  This blog is proof of that.  I just find it a little silly that everything I work on is called a "Reflections Paper".  No biggie.  That is, until I post the wrong reflections paper to the wrong class.  That's when the silliness abruptly comes to a stop.

         I have nowhere comfortable to sit in my house.  Consequently, I have nowhere comfortable for guests to sit and visit with me.  I figure the day I actually own a couch will be the day I finally feel ready to let people in.  

A good day See Blog Post - Introducing, Boise States University's newest organization! November 2015

2 points extra credit post for Leadership 325 Blog Post #7 Good stuff I learned in class on 11/5/15          In Leadership we saw videos on the Penn State scandal and talked about it's culture.  A culture that is spinning out of control takes a long time to get there.  And consequently, it takes a long time to correct itself again.  If it's too far gone, then it takes a big jolt and/or outside forces to cause corrections.        As an organizational leader you constantly have to guard against any sort of variation from the core mission and purpose and beliefs of your organization.  When you compromise once, it's hard.  But the tenth time it's easy.  Sometimes organizations just get in a habit of compromising.  Enough compromises over time gets you to a bad place.        A closed environment also harbors abuse.  If a culture is built or talks about...

2 points extra credit post for Leadership 325 Blog Post #6 Good stuff I learned in class on 11/10/15      I was going through some of my old class notes and ran across this gem.  We have been learning about organizational leadership.  All organizations exist for a reason, whether this be for profit, altruistic, educational etc puposes.  There is a reason we get together.  Because of that, organizations are inherently political.  In other words, one set of values, beliefs, and purposes are competing or negotiating against another set of values, beliefs, and purposes.  There can only ever be one outcome.  To be a good organizational leader, we have to understand these things.        So why do we want to know what divides people?  Why do we need to know all the conflicts, and which is the dominate conflict?  Sometimes people don't tell you what the conflict is about.  Sometimes we have to f...

       I went to the Annual Family Holiday Concert at BSU last night.  I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but last spring semester I sang in the University Singers choir.  I hadn't sung in a choir for - millennia?  It was an amazing experience, but that story is for another blog post.      I had heard that "my" choir would be singing in the holiday concert and I wanted to go.  There would also be the jazz band and orchestra.  I used to play the violin way back in the past century along with a variety of other instruments.  I love that shit!  It feels like home to me.  It's all I can do to stay seated in my chair and not jump up on stage and yell, "give me something to play and move over!".  (Not that I currently have the talent or ability to be able to do that - ah, but in my fantasy world I am rockin' it)  It did take super human strength however, not to sing along with Handel's Messi...

     What is wrong with me?  I cannot get it together.  Ever since I slowed way down over Thanksgiving break, I can't seem to speed it back up again.  I actually have a shot of getting all As this semester, but not if I don't get this last week right.  I have big stuff due...and I can't seem to make myself do it.  I am in deep shit.  I'm sure there is some psychological reason for all of this, but at the moment I have not an ounce of clarity as to what that might be.  In the mean time, get your shit together Susan!

     There are a handful of things I have done in my life where I can look back and see clearly, that it distictly changed the trajectory of my life for the better.  Having an alter in my home to create a designated sacred space is one of those things.  Meditating daily with Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra is another.  Today's meditation was on forgiveness and almost every sentence blew me away.  I had to write about it. Oprah Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different, letting go of the past that I thought I wanted.  These words can absolutely set me free in my life and in my relationships if I allow them to. Letting go is a choice.   I limit myself to being open to other people when I hold on to pain and hold on to resentment. That hurt feeling that I have been feeling for so long, it is nothing more than my ego's response to a person or situation.  The truth is, I am choosing to let that f...

Watching the sunrise from my favorite perch on the 4th floor.  Mmmmm    And now that all the leaves are gone I have a clear view of the river. For study mode, it doesn't get any better than this.

A nice moment today as I was walking across campus  to my (very) early morning math class.