Not what I was hoping for

I’ve known since last spring that something big was coming this fall.  I could feel it. And a handful of my intuitive friends could feel it too.  Unbidden, and at odd times, they would independently make some kind of comment like, “Oh, wow, you have a big change coming up for you this fall.  A statement from any one of these powerhouse/intuitively-plugged-in women would be enough for me to know it was truth.  But to have several of them say the same thing, plus my own inner knowing - I knew it was coming.  But what?  By the time fall hit, my mind had churned out all kinds of possibilities:  A new job that actually pays a substantial amount of money, a move from Boise, a new and important romantic relationship.  Nope.  I now know what the big event is; I am working the 12 step program to overcome my lifelong addictive behaviors.  Not what I was hoping for.

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Sandy's Response:

Hi, such a poignant post and an important one. My heart goes out to you.  You know, other big and bright things can happen this fall and winter, right along with your 12 step work. In fact, it opens up all sorts of new ways of looking at yourself and how you want to walk in this world. I hope you can look back on this fall as a big step into the fulfilling life you wish for.

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Susan's Response:

Beautiful words.  Thank you, and I think you are right.  I have the sense that so much movement is beginning to happen with what I am doing.  It can't help but change every aspect of my life.  I have no idea what that will look like and when it might happen, but that's for me to let go.  But a hopeful thought to be sure.