Travel Log 4/6/2022: Knowing Where I Belong and Why

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My Office

I’m chilling at my sister and brother in law’s house.  It’s 5 a.m. -ish and I’m called outside to listen to bird song, feel the energies of the early morning movement, and to write.  I find that post leaving-the-day-job (a week and a half ago), I am ever slipping into a deeper sense of silence and peace.  As I progress through my decades-long healing march, I truly marvel at every plateau.  At each point as I look back, I see how very stressed I was.  When I think I can’t get any more calm, I do.  And looking back at the last plateau as I am doing now, I am shocked again to see how wound-up-tight I was.  No wonder my body shows all the signs of life-long chronic stress and pain.  But all of my body ailments, along with my nervous system, are all healing.  It’s been a slow crawl but it’s picking up speed.  I had a barometer moment yesterday when I looked down at my hip and leg and I realized that I like my hip and leg.  I felt quite comfortable in that moment with my body. Well, that’s new!


I hiked the lovely path below this deck last evening (see pic).  As I walked the trail, the land told me that I don’t belong here.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a threat or a “Get out of town!” sort of message.  It was just the truth.  I could feel that I was welcomed by the land as a visitor, but no more.  There is no connection for me here.  It’s a comfort really.  I do feel a connection at home.  I belong there.  I like talking with the land where I stand to see what’s up.  It knows.  It speaks truth.  I know where I belong and I know why I belong - this truth is ever unfolding in my awareness.  Last night was the next little memo: “You belong here for now.  When it is time to move on, you will know that too.  Enjoy the moment you are in, for it is perfect.”


What I know after today: I can feel comfortable in my skin and where I stand.

 


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