Travel Log 7/12/2022: Spider Wars

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I’m packing and getting ready to leave my sister and brother-in-law's house.  My sister got sick (she’s better now) but we canceled our road trip to Tennessee so she could rest up.  In the meantime, I got a good rest of my own in a lovely home surrounded by nature (including a hiking path practically at their back door which I utilized once or twice a day).  It turned out to be just what I needed.  I leave today feeling peacefully rested and in the flow.  I’m not leaving too soon, nor have I outstayed my welcome.


As I’m In the bathroom packing up I see a medium sized spider.  I constantly get messages from nature and animals.  But long ago, I told the creatures of this world that I will not receive information from them if they are inside my house.  Spiders, ants, moths - you name it.  And if they come into my house, they have to leave.  If I can make that happen humanely, I will.  If not, then they will be moving on to their next life with my assistance.  I don’t abide critters in my house.  Outside is their domain and I gladly cohabitant with them in that beautiful way. I didn’t feel the need to move this spider along to its next incarnation.  But after the fourth time of seeing it in various locations within the bathroom, I decided there might be something there for me to know (technically Spider did not disregard my dictates as this isn’t my home).  Sure enough, there was a message from Spider.


As I settled in to receive the message, I flashed back to a memory from about 30 plus years ago when I was very first learning about energy and how it works.  My friend and I were taking some classes on how to read energy and how to move energy.  One day when we were talking about this, she saw a spider on the window and had the idea to push it around with energy.  We called it a game and named it Spider Wars.  She would push it one way and I would push it the other to see who was the strongest.  To this day, when I think of that experience I shudder in horror.  Could anything be more repugnant and disrespectful to life and the living?  


Other than never doing it again, I haven’t thought much more about it.  Not until this morning.  Tears came to my eyes as I thought about my participation that day.  Sure, I was naive and just starting to learn about such things.  At that time I had not yet met many of my good and ethical teachers that helped direct my path as a healer.  When I asked Spirit if there was something here for me to know or do, I had the feeling that it was time to make amends for my behavior that day.  I apologized to the spider and all of its kind for what I had done all of those years ago.  I realized in that moment that I had deeply buried remorse and with this apology I was able to let it all go.  I have such love for God and their creatures.  I will not use my gifts for ill.  The spider who stood in proxy for the spider kingdom accepted and forgave me.  I breathed and released that window of time in my life when I was careless and reckless with my God given gifts.  Thank you Spider for bringing that to my attention and for accepting my apology. 


What I know after today: I can be forgiven for stupid things I do.

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