My Hermit's Cave

Like the hermit's of old, I have a cave of meditation. They would go into the deep, dark, dank earth for solace and solitude. In that quiet place they could go within themselves to find their connection with the Divine. I have been sitting in my house-cave for longer than the pandemic has been around. Two months before that hit, I graduated from Boise State University. School has a way of killing one's social life. So, between these two back to back life events, I've been sitting fairly quiet for the past five or six years, with the last two being especially still. An imposed vow of silence. What does Pema Chodron call it? I believe it's, "Hot Loneliness." It means being, "Pregnant with the desire to escape it." Now, doesn't that just hit the nail on the head! What can make us squirm more than our own company? 

As soon as COVID hit my awareness, I turned to my Wise Ones. What is this and what does it mean for me? All of the feedback I got was the same, "Go in and get quiet." Truth be told, I did not go gentle into that good night. I raged against what felt like death (and hey, "quiet" can lead to the death of the ego - so, yea I was fighting against death). So with much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth on my part, I stumbled along in pain. I would cry to my Wise Ones, "Why?!" And again and again the answer would not waver, "Go in and get quiet." So I stepped up my yoga and my meditation, inching my way to a calmer state. And that is where I am at today - a calmer state. I no longer hate my cave of isolation. In fact, I cherish it and I look forward to my quiet movements and meditations. And best of all, no deep, dark, dank, dirt floors for me. My hermit's cave has a chandelier.