Hard to get out of the car today. I'm here for my first day of summer class. I've been taking an on line class this past month - more on that later. But this is my first time back on campus since the end of spring semester. I just had a flash back as I sit here in my car realizing I am hesitating, not wanting to get out of the car. Geesh, here we go again. Just like last January on my first day of class. I admit it, I feel scared. Is this feeling ever going to go away?
I'm perhaps less scared then I was last January as I know the layout of the campus now and a thing or two about being a student - being that I have just successfully completed my first semester after decades of not being a student. And I'll toot my own horn here and say for the first time in my life I have a 4.0 GPA! I probably shouldn't mention the fact that I went part time and took study skills and choir. But they don't just give out passing grades in those classes - I had to work for them. And English Research Writing was HARD. So I'll bask in my own glory without shame or regret.
But now, here we go again. I was thinking that this school thing is like a microcosm for life - constant change. Just when I get used to the classes, and the rhythms, and the classmates, and knowing where and when I'm supposed to be, I have to - what? - start all over again? I want my old friends back, my old teachers back, my old seat back. I knew what I was doing there. I don't know what I'm doing now. I don't know what's expected of me. I guess if I'm ever going to figure it out I'm going to have to get out of this car.
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