This morning's shamanic journey took me to a place I had never been to before. And no, they didn't tell me where I was going before hand. I mentioned that in yesterday's post. I do believe that that method has been a lesson in trust over the years but as I was thinking upon it this morning, I realized there is another piece to that teaching. I believe that my Spirit Guides are teaching me to shut up and just observe. I'm the human of a thousand questions. I'm curious by nature. Strengthsfinder pings me as a Learner, no surprise there. But I had gotten into the bad habit of shooting off an ever lengthening list of rapid fire questions when talking to the Wise Ones. Instead, on these journeys, they are showing me how to be quiet, and experience. Oh, what wonders come to me when I do that! The nuances of everything going on around me are beyond any verbal answers that could be given to a litany of questions. It takes time and I can be impatient. But I find when I rush to the "What is this?" and the "Why am I hear?" defaults, I don't truly get the deeper answers. I am learning to let the experience reveal itself in its own organic fashion. It's been a game changer.
This morning I slide off of Eagle's back and stood waiting for the unfolding. I was told to look towards my feet. It felt like I was standing on "something" but when I looked down there was nothing below me. Well, that's not exactly right. There was this amazing blue, not just below me but all around me. It was all I could see everywhere I looked. It was a shade of blue I had never seen before. Maybe a cross between a sky blue and an aqua blue? What was more attention grabbing was the energy of it all. I had never felt the like. A good place I think, but what was it for? It was all... foreign. Sort of out of kilter but not necessarily in a bad way. I was told that this is a healing place in another dimension. It occurs to me now, while I am writing, that I don't know the name of this place. I'm just going to assume that I don't need a name. (Oh that's hard for a frontal brain that wants to categorize and make sense of places/people/things! - but I let it go.)
I've had chronic back and neck pain since 1994 - two auto accidents in 94 and 98. Throw in Epstein-Barr and Chronic Fatigue in the 80s, autoimmune and food allergies now (gluten makes it feel like every cell in my body is on fire). And let's not forget liver pain (from Fatty Liver) and intestinal pain (from Leaky Gut). Jeepers, why can't I have pretty sounding diagnoses? Well, last night was a bad one, I didn't sleep well for the increased pain. I think I must have eaten gluten yesterday by mistake because I hurt from head to toe. I've had many healings and many discoveries over the years as to what my body has been telling me, but the pain persists. I'm guessing I hadn't learned all of the needed lessons yet. So, it was a bit of a shock when I was told that I could leave my pain there. I don't understand it. I hesitated for a millisecond and then I dumped. I went from body part to body part and released the pain with love and gratitude for lessons learned. What will be the outcome from all of this? I have no idea. But I will say I'm practically pain free while writing this post. Ok, I'm just going to sit with this for awhile.
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