Stewing On My Yoga Mat

Well, well, well, Three days of yoga in a row.  Some kind of record for me.  And what’s the difference you might add?  Gee, do you think there might be a correlation with me connecting with a sponsor three days ago regarding my addictive behaviors?  Bingo.  So where do I go from here?  My old tapes are whirling.  They are saying things like, “Ok, great job. But that’s enough for now.  You don’t want to over do it.  You know this thing can’t really work.  Slow down and step off this train and stick to what you know and what you can do.  It’s ok to do a little yoga here and there (as I have done for the past few years). Just don’t do enough that it’s truly going to make a difference in your life. Your arms are already feeling and looking different.  Warning! Warning!  Danger Will Robinson!  What the hell do you think you are doing?”  And the negative self talk and anxious feelings spiral out of control from there.  

I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard spot.  Can’t go forward.  Can’t go back.  So I sit here on my yoga mat and stew.  So much for Savasana.   

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Sandy's Response

I read your words before going to the pool today and I laughed because I wanted to make up all sorts of excuses of why I shouldn’t go. (Mom hadn’t been to the pool for about 3 weeks and I got out of the habit!) You motivated me to stop looking for excuses and just get there. And I’m so glad I did. The idea of a daily movement, which will be so beneficial to me in the long run and gives each of my days an important piece for my well being, is really big. And something our minds want to fight us about.

Why do you think your mind is putting up such a big fight? Those warning and danger signals are imposters! You deserve to feel good and to feel strong. You belong on this planet and have every right to be your best self. (as i write to you, i tell me these things too. :) )

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Susan's Response

Believe it or not, feeling like a have a place on the planet, like a have a right to be on this planet, is a fairly new concept to me. The idea that I have the right to be my best self, now that is a new concept all together. Why haven't I thought of that before? That churns up all sorts of intense emotions.