Delve into me

This is one of my 2 extra credit points earned for posting in a blog - an assignment in Leadership 325.  Who knew I'd get a better grade from my little blog!



     At this point in class we are really delving into....ourselves.  Turns out qualities such as authenticity, character, and hearing (vs listening) are found in great leadership.  Today's reading, "How to Be a Real Leader", by Polly Labarre states, "Most of us know more about our favorite sports team or vacation spot than we know about ourselves".  My professor said, "Tell your story and understand your story, vs someone who is on auto pilot...a leader needs to understand why they are motivated, what do they actually value, what causes them to do this, what happened to shape them in that way?"

     Some years ago it occurred to me that I was rather fragmented.  I noticed that I acted one way in a certain group of people, then again in another way with another group of people.  Had it just been two groups perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad, but shockinly I realized I could identify five or six.  Yikes!  Who was I?  Which group saw the real me?  Or did anyone see the real me?  As I thought about this I actually realized that I did want people to see me, the whole me (what ever that was).  So first I had to explore why I was hiding.  This seemed to me to be the first step, or I suspected that I would probably just put on another facade to "act" like the real me.  I was a mess.  But it turned out to be an important realization and I have been searching for the real me ever sense, with the intention of always presenting that person no matter where I was or who I was with.  This process was extremely fearful at times, but has produced results far from anything that I could have expected.  One of the many realizations I have had on this path is how exhausting it is to be someone other than myself.  And low and behold, as it turns out, I quite like the person I was working so hard to hide.  Go figure.

     Labarre talks about authenticity.  She states, "It's impossible to lead people who don't trust you, and it's impossible to build trust without cultivating authenticity."  She suggests three questions to ask oneself when exploring this trait.

1.  Do you know yourself?  Get in the habit of asking, "Why do I pursue the work and the life that I do?" and "What do I act like during the most fulfilling times of my life?"  This will give us real clues to our purpose.

2.  Do you know how to listen - and to hear?  What is it that we pick up when we listen to someone.  Does it include their fears, their intentions, their aspirations?  Hear at a deeper level and you will get the information you need to do the job and to connect with the people you work with.

3.  What's your appreciation ratio?  The business world is full of confrontation, criticism and even hate which is a shame because appreciation is a truly value-creating activity.  It energizes people, and it makes them want to exceed their goals and perceived limits.